The One-Eyed Ornithologist

The One-Eyed Ornithologist (Aviculus unoculus) inhabits the woodlands of North America, exhibiting a peculiar behavior of hosting nesting birds during their mating season. This solitary creature, notable for its grumpy disposition and affinity for vitamin supplements, adheres to a strict sleep schedule, retiring early in the evening and rising well before the break of dawn, aligning its habits with the avian species it shelters. Throughout the summer and winter months, the One-Eyed Ornithologist engages in aimless wandering, often traversing circular paths for prolonged periods until the return of the nesting birds. It is crucial to exercise caution when attempting to interact with or approach this species, as it tends to repetitively express itself during any active conversation and has been observed seeking to cleanse itself in the trunk of parked vehicles. Feeding the One-Eyed Ornithologist is strongly discouraged, as its diet primarily consists of Grapenuts cereal and TV dinners, with a strong aversion to alterations in both its routines and clothing choices. Due to the species' outdated political views, it is advisable to minimize direct contact with these creatures.