I Suffer From a Ridiculous Strain of Photographer’s OCD

This article is only half in jest. And it’s probably not what you think. No. I don’t have a compulsion to collect camera gear and hoard it. I do suffer from Gear Acquisition Syndrome (G.A.S.) but not any more than any other photographer. What I do suffer from is a mild form of OCD that has to do with not liking anyone or anything touching my camera, lenses, and accessories.

I’ve had this for years. I’ve had it since I was a kid in a general sense. I never liked anyone “touching my stuff.”

You’d think that this would wear off. Some of it has. It’s not as intense of a feeling of discomfort as it had been decades ago. But since becoming a photographer, it manifests in the form of not liking anyone touching my camera and lenses. If you’re one of those who’ve asked me in the past about this and wondered at my strange or non-response, now you know why. It’s nothing against anyone in particular, at least, if you don’t appear to have grubby hands. But don’t think I’m not judging you by the condition of your own gear.

This really isn’t a big problem for me. At worst, someone might think I’m strange or a bit of an asshole for appearing as an unkind, un-sharer. But I’ll have you know that I once won an award for being the best sharer on the playground when I was in the Second Grade. So there is a distinction to be made: I don’t mind sharing things in the general pool, but when it comes to my own things, I’m a greedy and heartless bastard.

My camera, lenses, and accessories will remain with me, thank you very much. My PR be damned.

But this isn’t what this article is about. Not entirely. The most important part of this admission is my eagerness to let some of it go. I want to be partially cured. I really don’t mind the part about not letting anyone else use my camera and gear. I’m not reaching for the stars right now! What I really want to do is get over this bag obsession, specifically, the need to always carry around a camera bag to protect my camera. Not my “big” camera, although I do admire those of you who can simply wear your cameras around your necks like a dumb fucking tourist, or dangle your cameras at your side haphazardly from a flimsy strap, unaware that in India your camera could be bashed to pieces by a vehicle approaching you from behind. Or licked by a rabid dog, or tail-swiped by a rogue cow. That’s all on you, buddy. I keep my good camera raised and in front of me at all times when I’m shooting. I’m not losing my camera due to bad habits.

What I’m getting at is the handling of my “little'“ camera, my little pocketable Sony ZV-1. The key word here is pocketable. And it does fit into my pocket quite nicely. Herein lies the problem. Because of my OCD, I’ve never been able to enjoy the pocketability of this little gem. I’ve always toted around a small bag that could enshrine this camera to protect it from the minutest of dust particles or any dreaded nicks and scratches. I could never just leave home with the damned thing in my hand. Or in my pocket, where lint and who knows what other unseen dangers lie in wait. And heaven forbid I bump into something with only that one layer of unpadded fabric between the camera and that rogue cow.

Today, I took one giant step toward ending my Tyrannical Bag Syndrome. I left home with the ZV-1 in my pocket. I came back home with the ZV-1 in my pocket. I took it out. Turned it over my hands and examined it, in particular, inspecting for any pieces of lint that could have lodged into the retractable lens. But I didn’t see a thing. I didn’t notice any scratches or scuffs on the LCD (it’s protected by an LCD protector anyway!). Nada. The camera was fine. And I thought to myself, could it really be this easy from now on?

Only time will tell.

But don’t expect any miracles any time soon. If you ask to use my camera or any of my lenses, don’t expect, not for an instance, that I’m going to give up my precious. That sickness is so embedded within me that I don’t think there is a cure. You’re shit out of luck. Sort yourself out and gear up! In the meantime, you might see me wandering around with only one camera bag, for my main camera. And if you’re lucky, really, really lucky, you might catch me on a future street photography session when I’m walking around without any visible camera or camera bag. As free as a bagless bird.